The Haircut

My hair had already been growing for way too long and today, being the hottest day of the year so far, the extra heat made me realize I was well overdue for a haircut. I decided to try the nearest place I could find and ended up at one of those places called… actually I can’t quite remember, I think it was “Last Resort Hair Cutters” or something like that.

Maybe it’s just me but don’t you get a certain vibe about a place just as you walk into it. I can usually tell what kind of haircut I’ll be getting as soon as I walk into the shop and this time was no different. In hindsight I suppose I should have followed my gut reaction and bailed when I saw the sign for recruiting new staff in the window offering only $12/hour but I guess I was just too willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

There were two ladies working and the cuter of the two, who am I kidding, the cute one, met me at the counter and said it would only be a few minutes so I took a seat and checked the stack of magazines just to be sure they were all at least six months old. Soon I was invited in to a chair and just like always, it wasn’t going to be the cute one who would be cutting my hair but the um… other one. How come it’s nearly never the one I hope it will be? I mean of course it’s no big deal but all other things being equal what guy wouldn’t prefer the cute girl to cut his hair?

Anyway, as the muffin top silverback (I’m sorry that was 100% inappropriate and I apologize profusely) starts cutting my hair she begins asking me all these personal questions. Are you married?, Do you have any kids?, What’s your pin number? and stuff like that. She must have been a long lost childhood friend judging from her interrogation of me but I swear I’d never seen her before in my life.

Oh, and as for that vibe I got when I walked in, it was spot on as usual. The speed and carefree or maybe even careless nature of the movement of the electric clippers on my head caused me to momentarily become unsure of where I was and I found myself checking the walls for any kind of military signage or posters because it suddenly felt like I was getting buzzed for boot camp. To make an already too long story shorter it was just one of those times when you can easily tell she’s just not trying and her heart isn’t in it at all. End result is shorter hair with a few uneven spots and hack marks here and there but whatever. It’s a good thing I’m not trying to impress anybody.

Next time I think I’m going back to the slightly farther and a couple of bucks more expensive place where she took her time, used several different tools and cutting techniques, made pleasant conversation without asking about my intimate personal life and gave me her complete attention while she was cutting my hair. I.E. She didn’t spend the whole time planning her upcoming weekend with her co-worker at the next station like so many of them do. Oh yeah, in case you are wondering, yes, she was pretty too. I think her name was… Kim.