While sorting through my old collection I came upon one particular CD that I used to listen to over and over about 10 years ago. Although I don't listen to it nearly as much as I used to back then I still play it now and then. I'm fairly sure it's one that most of you have never heard of. The artist's name is Vanessa Mae and the album is called Storm. One song in particular, I'm a Doun, is the one I really loved.
If you don't mind, please click on the play button and listen to I'm a Doun now before you read on further. Although there are no lyrics, except for a short poem she sings at the beginning, maybe see if you can tell what it's about.
I'm a Doun by Vanessa Mae
I had never heard of her either until one day, back in 1998, I returned home from a long day of work, plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Apparently I had left it on the "Bravo" channel the day before so that is what came on again. A program called Bravo Videos was on and a video of a pretty violin player had just begun. I missed the title and the few lines of singing at the beginning and saw her just begin to play her violin. Although there were no more lyrics to listen to, only Vanessa playing her violin and a couple of obviously out of place yet somehow perfectly appropriate dancers to watch and listen to I felt I knew exactly what the song was about. The violin music seemed so full of longing and despair it surely must represent a lonely girl longing for the unlikely return of her love who has left her and gone far away. The exotic sounding drums, voices and dancers are from a far away land and represent everything that is keeping her love from her and preventing his return.
Her violin starts out softly and slowly but as the sounds of the distant land get louder her violin also gets bolder, higher, more determined yet somehow even more tragic as the duel of opposing forces intensifies and she becomes more desperate and fights ever harder to bring him back. In the end I like to think her violin perhaps wins out over the exotic drums and voices but maybe that's just wishful thinking.
I will admit that I had, only months before, watched the love of my life walk away never to return so to say that I identified with this song would be a severe understatement. That first time I saw and heard it it brought me to my knees but I loved it anyway for knowing what I was going through and expressing it so well, even without words. (I would rather not have mentioned this bit but I guess I had to for the whole thing to make sense.)
As the video ended the title and artist's name came up again so I was able to find out that critical information. I actually e-mailed the Bravo Videos program and asked them if they would let me know when they would be playing that video again because I just HAD to have it. (It wasn't on the YouTube back then.) Surprisingly the man in charge of the program actually replied and did let me know the next time they would play it so I was able to get a VHS copy of it. I couldn't find the CD in any store so I made my very first online purchase and the Storm CD arrived a few days later. I would almost be embarrassed to admit how much I listened to it over the next several months and to this day it remains one of my favourite albums.
The Title comes from the short poem she sings at the beginning. It's in old Celtic English so here it is with a rough translation.
I'm o' doun, doun, doun,
I'm doun for lack o' Johnnie.
Gin Johnnie kent I was na weel,
I'm sure he would come to me;
But o, gin he's forsaken me,
Och hone! what will come o' me!
I am sad, sad, sad
I am sad for lack of Johnnie
If Johnnie knew that I was not well
I'm sure he would come to me
But o, since he's forsaken me
Oh now what will become of me
Finally, here it is, the video that I just happened to catch one day so many years ago and I'm so glad I did. It's dedicated to anyone who has ever had to watch the one they really truly loved... walk away never to return.
